Monday, February 28, 2011

Lucy said Dada!

I know she didn't intentionally say it but yesterday morning while Lucy was hanging out in her swing, babbling away, she said "dada". Clear as day! John and I looked at eachother and we were both like "Did she really just say that!!" John was seriously grinning from EAR to EAR!!
Daddy loves his little girl :)

Friday, February 25, 2011

~**4 months**~

LucyLu is 1/3 of the way through her first year. This month has been a BLAST with her. She is such a happy little stinker!
Here's her 4 month stats and a few things that she's been up to this month.

She is 25 inches tall, 14lbs 11oz, 42cm head. 75% all around.
-smiles and laughs so much these days!
-still sleeping through the night like a champ. 8pm-8am baby!!
-she is very interactive with her toys now
-chews on everything...mostly her fist but likes her toys and blankets too.
-we tried to feed her cereal on Tuesday but she wanted NOTHING to do with it
-consistently eats 5 6oz bottles a day
-we now have a daily schedule in place that has Drastically changed her little diva attitude. She has a bottle around 8:30, takes a nap with mommy from 9-11:15 when we pick Parker up from school. Then its home for play time and another bottle. For playtime she likes to lay on the floor watching her musical light up toy. She also LOVES watching her big brother play. At around 2pm she starts getting a little fussy, which is cue for 'I'm tired and hungry'. After a bottle is down for a nap. She usually sleeps for a good 3 hours during this nap, which is lovely for me since I work graves and the only sleep I get during the day is when she naps. After waking up she has another bottle and some more playtime until dinner. At around 8-9 she gets a bath, bottle and bed. And thats a wrap!
-she's mobile! While laying on her back she can turn herself in a circle.
-LOVES to snuggle....totally fine by me!
-loves being tossed in the air and swung around...she seriously belly laughs every time.
-loves to hold her hands or hold my hands
-holds her bottle by herself when it's not to full
-loves her big brother!! She watches him like a hawk!
-loves her daddy...he can make her smile everytime he looks at her. So sweet!
-looks just like Parker...not even kidding. Almost the spitting image
-going bald....I know, so sad! *sniff*
-has the absolute most cutest little thunder thighs ever! I love love love to squeeze them.
-has the most beautiful little face ever! Big dark eyes (can't tell if theyre going to stay blue or go brown) long dark lashes, cute little button nose...I could go on and on and on!
Love her!

Lucy wearing Parkers onsie...everytime I look at this picture I think I'm looking at Parker!

Happy 4 months (on 2/13) princess
(Yes, this is a couple weeks late :)

Winter ride

Finally!! We got the horses out and headed up the hills. It felt so great to get out. I haven't ridden since I found out I was pregnant! I was a little nervous that Cyera was gonna try and throw me, but she actually did very well. I'm one super proud momma!
Me and Cyera

John and Park, I can't remember his name!
I swear my dad has told me his name probably 50 times and I still can't remember it. In my defense, I did just have a baby...mommy brain!

Watch out Titanic

During the windstorm and the warm weather we had a couple of weeks ago the ice on Utah Lake broke up and was washed HUGE piles. This is the west side of West Mt. The pictures do not do this mounds of ice justice. I've never seen anything like this before in my life! It was AWESOME!

John and P man getting ready to scale the iceburg
Bird has never been visible from Lincoln beach but, lo and behold, here it is. Covered in ice. Covered!

They made it! Now, hopefully then can get back down

~*Silly Faces!*~

I have thee cutest kiddies ever!
LuLu Bell just hangin' out
First time in the high chair!


Parker made Lucy 'Queen of the day!'
He L-O-V-E-S his little sissy

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Lovey Dovey Day

Happy Valentine's Day!
My super cute tulips picked out especially for me by my sweet little Parker man

Parker's Valentine's cards for his class. We spent an afternoon doodling on the cards and making a huge mess with shaving cream and food coloring but they turned out awesome and the kids LOVED them!

Every year I buy one or two new decorations for each holiday but this year I couldn't find any Lovey Dovey Day ones that I liked so, what did I do? I made my own :) I think they turned out pretty darn cute.

This was by far the easiest. With the help of my handy dandy Cricut I whipped out this baby in abou 5 minutes flat.

Can I just say how much I LOVE how this topiary turned out? This project had dual purposes...the first to beautify my home and the second to keep me awake during a graveyard shift. Both missions accomplished! On a side darling are my cute little birds?? I am absolutely in love with these little guys!

This project was also dual purpose, and so easy! All this one took was a metal hanger (lucky me, the hubs had a pink one :) and some fabric and VOILA...a cute VDay wreath. My fingers were a little tired by the end of the night after tying all those knots but it was worth it!

Alright, so this one is a little bitter sweet for me. I had actually just put the last piece of candy on the big one when there was an unexpected knock at the door and a man waiting there to tell me that my sweet little Moo was gone. I'm half tempted to chuck it since every time I look at it I think of my little Moo and how maybe if I hadn't been preoccupied with this stupid thing she may still be here. But, then again, I love having little reminders of her around the house, so I think I'll hang on to it for awhile. At least until the candy starts rotting. Anyone know the shelf life for a conversation heart??

Friday, February 4, 2011

Overcoming the 'R' word

Well, it's 5:20 am. Only 1.5 hours left of work. Here I sit hoping and praying that I can keep my eyes open until my relief gets here. Only 1.5 more hours and I can go curl up in my comfy bed and go to sleep.

At least, thats what I should do. But I won't. I won't because my sweet little princess will be waking up soon. 7:30, on the dot. I won't go to sleep because I miss her. I miss listening to her coo in her crib before I get her up. I miss her happy little morning self as she smiles and giggles for no reason. I miss snuggling with her while she has her breakfast. Rocking her and enjoying the peaceful quiet of the morning.

I won't go to sleep because I miss waking up my little man for school. I miss making him breakfast every morning..."toast and eggs please, Mom" I miss eating breakfast with him and talking about what the day might bring. These times go by way to fast, and I'm missing them.

Since returning to work these moments are very few and far between. I know that I should be getting some decent rest since I have to be back to work in 12 short hours for another long 12 hour shift but the guilt eats at me and I can't sleep. I feel guilty that I'm home but not spending time with my kids. How selfish of me to be sleeping while they wait for me to wake up to play. Selfish that I leave them with their Grandpa who has a million things to get done but doesn't do them so he can take care of my kids. How grateful we are for Grandpa!!

These feelings of guilt lead me to feel sad, then the sadness leads to anger. I'm angry that I have to go back to work instead of being able to stay home with my babies and watch them grow up. Anger turns into resentment. Resentment towards myself that I'm not a stay-at- home mom. Resentment towards my husband for not being able to 'provide' for us on his own. And then resentment back on myself for resenting my husband for something he can't control. Thats alot of dang resentment! Ugh, this is an evil evil cycle that I have no idea how to break.

The only thing I can think of is to sell our home and downsize, downsize, downsize. But then the selfish in my creeps back in and I don't want to give up my beautiful home or my awesome neighborhood. I don't want Parker to have to change schools. I don't want to move away from my family that are all so close. Enter resentment. Why do I have to be so selfish?? Is it wrong to want to live in a nice home with great neighbors in a neighborhood where I know for a fact that NOTHING EVER HAPPENS! A neighborhood where I feel safe letting my son play with all the other kids in the area. I don't have to worry that their parents are dealing drugs or commiting crimes or any of the other crazy stuff that I see happen on a daily basis.

So, for now, I'll live with these feelings and do my best to compensate for my absence. I'll squeeze in many more hugs and kisses and 'I love yous' when we're all together (including the hubs who doesn't get those things nearly as much as he deserves. He really is great!). I will resist the urge to say 'yes' to the overtime calls. I will not bring work home with me or allow it to alter my attitude at home. I will play extra hard and laugh extra long with my babies. We will snuggle, read, play, and snuggle some more. I may not be able to spend every waking minute with them but I WILL maximize every minute that we have together!

J, P and L... I love you to the moon and back!