~*Silly Faces!*~

I have thee cutest kiddies ever!

LuLu Bell just hangin' out

First time in the high chair!

Peek-a-boo!

Parker made Lucy 'Queen of the day!'

He L-O-V-E-S his little sissy

Lovey Dovey Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

My super cute tulips picked out especially for me by my sweet little Parker man

Parker's Valentine's cards for his class. We spent an afternoon doodling on the cards and making a huge mess with shaving cream and food coloring but they turned out awesome and the kids LOVED them!


Every year I buy one or two new decorations for each holiday but this year I couldn't find any Lovey Dovey Day ones that I liked so, what did I do? I made my own :) I think they turned out pretty darn cute.

This was by far the easiest. With the help of my handy dandy Cricut I whipped out this baby in abou 5 minutes flat.

Can I just say how much I LOVE how this topiary turned out? This project had dual purposes...the first to beautify my home and the second to keep me awake during a graveyard shift. Both missions accomplished! On a side note...how darling are my cute little birds?? I am absolutely in love with these little guys!

This project was also dual purpose, and so easy! All this one took was a metal hanger (lucky me, the hubs had a pink one :) and some fabric and VOILA...a cute VDay wreath. My fingers were a little tired by the end of the night after tying all those knots but it was worth it!

Alright, so this one is a little bitter sweet for me. I had actually just put the last piece of candy on the big one when there was an unexpected knock at the door and a man waiting there to tell me that my sweet little Moo was gone. I'm half tempted to chuck it since every time I look at it I think of my little Moo and how maybe if I hadn't been preoccupied with this stupid thing she may still be here. But, then again, I love having little reminders of her around the house, so I think I'll hang on to it for awhile. At least until the candy starts rotting. Anyone know the shelf life for a conversation heart??

Overcoming the 'R' word

Well, it's 5:20 am. Only 1.5 hours left of work. Here I sit hoping and praying that I can keep my eyes open until my relief gets here. Only 1.5 more hours and I can go curl up in my comfy bed and go to sleep.

At least, thats what I should do. But I won't. I won't because my sweet little princess will be waking up soon. 7:30, on the dot. I won't go to sleep because I miss her. I miss listening to her coo in her crib before I get her up. I miss her happy little morning self as she smiles and giggles for no reason. I miss snuggling with her while she has her breakfast. Rocking her and enjoying the peaceful quiet of the morning.

I won't go to sleep because I miss waking up my little man for school. I miss making him breakfast every morning..."toast and eggs please, Mom" I miss eating breakfast with him and talking about what the day might bring. These times go by way to fast, and I'm missing them.

Since returning to work these moments are very few and far between. I know that I should be getting some decent rest since I have to be back to work in 12 short hours for another long 12 hour shift but the guilt eats at me and I can't sleep. I feel guilty that I'm home but not spending time with my kids. How selfish of me to be sleeping while they wait for me to wake up to play. Selfish that I leave them with their Grandpa who has a million things to get done but doesn't do them so he can take care of my kids. How grateful we are for Grandpa!!

These feelings of guilt lead me to feel sad, then the sadness leads to anger. I'm angry that I have to go back to work instead of being able to stay home with my babies and watch them grow up. Anger turns into resentment. Resentment towards myself that I'm not a stay-at- home mom. Resentment towards my husband for not being able to 'provide' for us on his own. And then resentment back on myself for resenting my husband for something he can't control. Thats alot of dang resentment! Ugh, this is an evil evil cycle that I have no idea how to break.

The only thing I can think of is to sell our home and downsize, downsize, downsize. But then the selfish in my creeps back in and I don't want to give up my beautiful home or my awesome neighborhood. I don't want Parker to have to change schools. I don't want to move away from my family that are all so close. Enter resentment. Why do I have to be so selfish?? Is it wrong to want to live in a nice home with great neighbors in a neighborhood where I know for a fact that NOTHING EVER HAPPENS! A neighborhood where I feel safe letting my son play with all the other kids in the area. I don't have to worry that their parents are dealing drugs or commiting crimes or any of the other crazy stuff that I see happen on a daily basis.

So, for now, I'll live with these feelings and do my best to compensate for my absence. I'll squeeze in many more hugs and kisses and 'I love yous' when we're all together (including the hubs who doesn't get those things nearly as much as he deserves. He really is great!). I will resist the urge to say 'yes' to the overtime calls. I will not bring work home with me or allow it to alter my attitude at home. I will play extra hard and laugh extra long with my babies. We will snuggle, read, play, and snuggle some more. I may not be able to spend every waking minute with them but I WILL maximize every minute that we have together!

J, P and L... I love you to the moon and back!

15 weeks!

As of today Lucy is 15 weeks old. Wow, where does the time go....

Couple of quick updates about how shes growing.
According to my bathroom scale she is about 14lbs...chunky monkey!
I just broke out all of her 3-6 month clothes. Some of her 0-3 clothes still fit but the majority of them don't.
She is so smiley!! I love getting her up in the morning because she just giggles and coos and is all smiles for mommy! It's so funny to listen to her through the monitor giggle at only she knows what.
She's drinking between 6-8 oz at one time now.
She wakes up at 7:30 ON THE DOT...seriously, every day, without fail. I think its because thats when the sun comes up and she wakes up when her room gets light. She'll have a bottle, play for about 30 minutes and then its down for nappy time. She only sleeps for about an hour at a time unless we're in the car...car rides Knock Her Out! Throughout the day she'll take naps but they hardly ever last longer than an hour.
She is starting to really love her swing and loves taking her naps in it. She's also really started enjoying her time playing on the floor. She loves to lay on her back and watch the lights on her toy light up. She has started taking interest in toys! I caught her swatting at one, making in jingle. Pretty sure she thought that was fantabulous cause she went at it for a good 30 minutes.
Lucy can hold her head up pretty much on her own yet and loves to play 'Big Girl' where she gets a death grip on my fingers and I pull her up to a sitting position. I think she'll be attempting to sit on her own here pretty quick.
She is not nearly as colicky as she used to be. I've even stopped giving her Prevacid for reflux. I stopped about a week ago and she's still fine so hopefully that phase is over and done with.
We had her blessing on the 9th. We just did it at our house and invited our immediate family. Lucy looked adorable in her blessing dress!! My dad blessed her for us...it was such a sweet blessing.

She has her 4 month appointment in a couple of weeks. She'll be getting, of course, more shots but I'm excited to see her stats and how much she has grown.
She is seriously such a sweet little angel and we are so so blessed to have her as part of our family!

2 Months!!

2 months have passed since our little princess joined our family and we couldn't be happier!

Lucys checkup went well. She got 3 shots which was super sad :( but the Dr. said she looks great! She weighs 11lbs 8 oz (70%) shes 24.25 " tall (95%) and her head is 40.25cm (80%)
He prescribed her some Prevacid to see if it helps her tummy. Poor thing could use some relief!

Lucy has Finally started smiling!! Not alot, but enough for me :) She started cracking little grins about a week ago but now I can get her to smile a couple of times a day. It's pretty sad that 2 or 3 smiles a day makes me happy but she is seriously such a grumpy little thing that I'll take anything I can get LOL.

She ALWAYS sleeps through the night. I put her to bed around 10 or 11 and she'll sleep until 7:30-8:30ish. She'll wake up, have breakfast, and go back to sleep until 11:30. I am SO thankful that she is a good sleeper, even if it is only at night. And, I'm happy to announce that she is SLEEPING ON HER BACK!! Yay!

She rarely sleeps during the day. She cries when I put her down and if I'm holding her she has to be bounced or rocked. I can't imagine how bad her tummy must hurt if she can't even sleep during the day. I've tried so many different things to get her some relief but I don't know if any of it helps. I've tried changing my diet around, giving her formula, mixing formula and milk etc etc. I'm at a loss! But, this to shall pass right?!

On the tooth front, the Dr. said he doesn't think her teeth are breaking through but that they may be pushing on her gums enough that it causes her discomfort. Duh! I can feel them under her gums Doc. She's also started drooling ALOT! That was a huge indicator that Parker was teething so we'll see what happens.

She's completely grown out of her newborn clothes and is comfortably snug in her 0-3 month clothes. She'll be moving up before I know it!

She still really likes her baths and LOVES showers! She just really really hates getting out.

She can hold her head up pretty much all by herself now and shes got quite the grip! I can put a toy in her hand and she'll hang on for dear life. She really doesn't have any interest in them though LOL.

Lucy is such a cutie and so so sweet!! Happy 2 month birthday Lulu! Mommy loves you!

Speaking of teeth...

update: The tooth vacated its residence on Dec 16th. Yay Parker!

Parker has his first loose tooth!! Its his bottom middle tooth and it's already got a tooth coming in behind it...weird! He's super excited for the tooth fairy experience to start :)

Teeth!!

Yesterday was a pretty hard day. I went shopping while Parker was at school thinking Lucy would sleep the whole time. Boy was I wrong! She cried from the minute we walked in until we left, cried all during the drive home. The only time she wasn't crying was when I was holding her or she was sucking on her binkie. So while I was holding her she spit out her binkie and started crying. As I went to put her binkie back in her mouth I saw this little white dot on her gums. I didn't even think about it being a tooth at first cause she's only 7 weeks old. Honestly I had no idea what it was. I stuck my finger in there to get it out. Needless to say, it wasn't going to come off LOL. No wonder she was so grumpy! she has this little teeny white tooth poking its way through her gums. She didn't sleep ALL DAY! She was awake from 8am until midnight last night...and let me tell you, I was EXHAUSTED! But surprisingly, she did sleep all night and woke up around 7:30. And now, guess what?! She's taking a nap! I have a feeling today will be much better than yesterday :)